“I will teach my daughter not to wear her skin like a drunken apology. I will tell her, ‘make a home out of your body, live in yourself, do not let people turn you into a regret, do not justify yourself. If you are a disaster, you are the most beautiful one I’ve ever seen. Do not deconstruct from the inside out, you belong here, not because you are lovely, but because you are more than that’”.
Being misguided in such a tumultuous, corrupt world creates a false sense of reality – a reality that prioritizes relationships that are meant to be temporary, friends that are destined to exit your life after a couple seasons, and materialistic items that depreciate with value overtime.
I was fortunate to have such influencing, selfless women throughout my entire life. It was my mother’s honest, no-nonsense lectures that taught me that if I ever find myself making a mistake, it’s tolerable –as long as I didn’t make the same mistake twice. From relationships, to friendships, I’ve made sure to never give someone the leverage over my thoughts and actions that would lead me to make destructive decisions.
As I scan through social media, I can’t help but to notice the excessive amount of desperation. Desperation for a destructive relationship to continue. Desperation for a foe to remain a friend. Desperation for love. Desperation for acceptance.
Being human, I was quick to judge.
“How can she not see that he’s using her?”
“Why doesn’t she just focus on school?”
“Why is she posting this picture?”
It was at this very moment, where I began to understand how fortunate I was to have the women in my life whom have guided me. Some young women don’t have an older sister to have discussions about males with. Some young women don’t have elders in their life they can refer to for career or financial advice. I’ve always voiced my opinion, but based on self-reflection, I became aware that my approach wasn’t effective. Sometimes we’re so desperate to be understood, we forget to be understanding.
Stop judging; start leading.
Until this point, I’ve persistently asked myself, “What is your purpose? What imprint were you purposefully destined to leave on this earth?”.
I finally know.
My purpose is to leave a legacy for my family to be proud of. My purpose is to utter ever-lasting words that my little sisters are positively impacted by. My purpose is to communicate the life lessons and lectures passed down from the women in my life – to you. My purpose is to now act as that sister or friend, that confidant or role model, that you never had. My purpose is to say that one influential thing that shifts your focus back to you and your future.
This is all for you.